10 Reasons why you haven't heard from me lately.....Final Version

1. I’m pretty much on vacation (‘pretty much’ is explained in #2).

On a trip to Florida to visit friends and family, Mr. H. and I fell in love with a little area on the West Coast of Florida called Anna Maria Island. We found a sweet little cottage on the beach and …. boom ….we became snowbirds. It was just (sort of) that easy.

2. When I am not on vacation, I’m working.

Yes. I am working on vacation. I know it is a cardinal sin, but to punish myself for working on vacation, I get up long before the sun rises, sit in a salmon colored-fabric- rather pungent-Lazy-Boy, keep the blinds closed and stay cloistered in a little back room until I am done working for the day. Why, yes, dear, I am a masochist. Thanks for asking.

3. My camera was dirty.

I don’t mean just a little dirty. It was filthy. When your camera is filthy, you begin seeing things. I thought there was a flock of birds in the background of all my pictures. In fact they look just like the birds I drew when I was in first grade. There is not a flock of birds in the background. My camera was dirty.

I had to take my poor, dirty little camera to a camera shop to get it cleaned. It took four days. Being without my camera was a bigger barrier than I imagined. I was totally unable to talk to you without my camera. (I do not know how others handle this, but I’m not a photographer and was totally bereft).

4. I couldn’t find a good planking picture.

We drove to Anna Maria Island with some dear friends. On the way, we felt obliged to plank a giant chair, donut man, pony, circus …. you get the drift. My dilemna was in deciding which picture to showcase. Planking does NOT reveal your best side. In fact, I don’t like any of my planking pictures. Having said that, I did feel obliged to share a planking picture with you. It took hours. Hours, I tell you.

5. Time lapse photography takes a long time. Especially if you lapse.

Over the holidays, the grand-kids and I made some Borax Snowflakes. I wanted to share the process with you and brought the ingredients with me to Florida (don’t tell Mr. H. I told him that box was filled with first aid stuff for our trip). Unfortunately, I kept forgetting to take the time lapse pictures I was convinced were necessary for this post. It’s been two and a half weeks. I still don’t have the time lapse photos. <sigh>

6. I became obsessed with the Black Eyed Pea.

My search for the elusive Black Eyed Pea and subsequent delight in the ubiquitousness (is this even a word? Can I use it in Scrabble? See #10) of the Black Eyed Pea in Florida created a sensibility to everything related to Black Eyed Peas.

Fixations are very time-consuming.

7. I discovered that I am allergic to shellfish.

Here’s how you find out you are allergic to shellfish. You eat shellfish for 60 years (probably only 59 years, I doubt I had any before I was one) and then you suddenly (and startlingly) blow up when you eat just one tiny, coconut covered, tender, yummy shrimp you ‘accidentally’ pilfered from your sister-in-law’s plate. I looked like a balloon in the Macy’s parade. You can’t type if you can’t bend your fingers.

8. I kept falling asleep.

The treatment for a shellfish allergy is two Benadryl. I don’t handle Benadryl well. I kept falling asleep and (thankfully) no one thought to take my picture. I think they were trying to avoid looking at me. It seems welts are NOT a fashion accessory.

9. I am easily distracted by bright, shiny things.

Pods of Dolphins swimming by and scoops of pelicans diving for fish battled for my attention. Guess who won?

10. I am playing Words with Friends or Scrabble with 10 different people.

I still can’t believe uxorial is a word (really, Cindy?). Can I challenge this? (Before you all begin to write, I did look it up. Uxurial is an adjective meaning “of or relating to a wife”). Cindy is absolved….for the moment.

(In an interesting perhaps-only-to-me moment, when I was reviewing this post with my brother, Ralph, and sister-in-law, Trish, they immediately responded by saying…”I can’t believe Smock is a word”. “I can’t believe Obey is a word [pig-latin for bow]“.

I believe I touched a nerve.

I promise you’ll hear more over the next few days. My fingers are bending again (although I still don’t have any knuckles).

Thanks for your patience!!!