North by Northwest (ish)

Pull up a nice comfy chair and settle in.

Mr. H. and I recently took a cruise to Alaska and I have about 4,000 slides I’d love to share with you.

Wait, wait…come back!!  I was just kidding!!

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I promise, you won’t have to see all our pictures! (Give me a call if you want the full 4,000.   I’ll supply the popcorn).

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While you recover from the thought of viewing several hundred slides reflecting glaciers in every possible light, let me explain why you haven’t heard from me for a while.

Mr. H. and I have been on cruises before (more than a decade ago), and we really enjoyed them; however, I never planned on going on another cruise.

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I dreaded being in a crowd of tourists on planned excursions…

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I had no interest in shipboard bingo…

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… and, I was rather creeped out by the thought of someone folding my lingerie into animals with cold…dead…eyes (in fairness, they used towels).

So, why were we on a cruise?

Well, Mr. H. turned 70 this year, and this was a trip he had wanted for quite some time.

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Could you deny this face?

Once I got over the idea of excursions, bingo and crazy lingerie, I figured it would be smooth sailing ……

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…but there were signs….

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…signs that things might be a little …. uncomfortable.

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Strange sightings of the Master of Suspense made us apprehensive (this was especially concerning since Alfred Hitchcock died 35 years ago).

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These were the movies that were on our TV the day we boarded the ship.  An Alfred Hitchcock movie about a shipwreck?  The suspense was building.

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The Captain informed us that we would have a change in schedule due to some rough weather.

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Twenty foot swells and lots of rain.

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I was beginning to think a new John Deere might have been a better birthday gift.

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But then, just as I was eyeing the life boats for a quick getaway, I thought I heard a voice.

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The distinctive voice of Sir Alfred Hitchcock….

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“Cue the rainbow”

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“Cue the sunbeams”

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“Cue the salmon bake”

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“Cue the bear” (cleaning up after the Salmon Bake)

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“Cue glorious nature scenes”

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and … “Cue postcard worthy sites”.

As promised, I’ve only shared about 1% of my pictures, and that seems just about right.

As Alfred Hitchcock once said, “Drama is life with the dull bits cut out”.  I suspect he also meant vacation pictures.

And so, inspired by our new friend Alfred, next year we are taking another cruise.

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To a place that served as a setting for Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘To Catch a Thief’.

Have I gone back on my pledge to never cruise again?   In a word … yes.

But to quote Sir Alfred, “I’m a writer and, therefore, automatically a suspicious character.” 

Category: Cast of Characters, Me!, Mr. H, Smile
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