What have I done?

Just a week before were heading home from our vacation, Mr. H. tripped and hurt his back.

He couldn’t stand, sit or breath without feeling like he was being poked in the back with a pain stick (it wasn’t me).

He had knots in his back.

For a week he relaxed and we weren’t too concerned.  After all, relaxing is built into vacation, right?

As the day for departure got closer, however, we became more concerned.    At the front end of the trip our friends, Bill and Cindy, joined us for the drive.  Thank you Bill and Cindy.

Sadly, we had no minions….er….helpers….er….bellboys….er….friends to travel with us on our trip back home.

Our car was filled to the brim (really…only basic vacation needs).

We faced 1,400 miles of driving to get home.

What were we to do?

Before we left the cottage, our minions….er….helpers….er….bellboys….er….friends helped us pack the car.  Thank you Jim and Vicky.

As for the drive home, Mr. H. decided that he could turn on the seat heater and we would make it home in stages.

First stop.  My cousin’s home.  70 miles.

Tom and Bea took care of us for almost three days.  They fed us, entertained us, moved stuff around and even offered to let us stay until Mr. H. healed completely.  Thank you Tom and Bea.

After two days, Mr. H. went to the doctor and got four prescriptions.  One prescription was for pain, one prescription was for more pain, one prescription was meant to relax his muscles and reduce pain and one prescription was for …. well, I never did understand what the last prescription was for.

He didn’t take any of the prescriptions.

So, we traveled for another 70 miles and stopped again.  We stayed for two more days.


Let’s do this math together…..

So….if it took us 6 days to go 140 miles (I need my grand-sons to help me with this word problem)…..at that rate, we wouldn’t get home until (perhaps appropriately)…..the Ides of March!

This was getting old.  I was getting old.  My dirty clothes were most definately getting old.

I needed a miracle.

And so, I suggested that Mr. H. get a massage.

You need to understand that Mr. H. has never had a massage.  Mr. H. has never wanted a massage.  Mr. H. has strenuously avoided a massage for 60+ years.

I wanted to get home before March so I insisted that he get a massage.

Together, we walked over to the spa.

Did he notice the low lights, flickering candles and soothing music?  Did he notice the lavender and rosemary scents wafting through the spa?  Did he notice the refreshing pitcher of fruit-infused ice water, healthy snacks or even the latest issue of Cosmo?

He did not.

He noticed the Exit Sign.


You can see the excitement (could that be terror)?

After a short wait (sitting directly under the Exit sign), we were collected by our massage therapists.   Mr. H. thought it would be “safer” to have a couples massage.


Mr. H.: “What do you mean I have to take off my clothes?  Do they know this key works in all the locks?  Wonder if someone steals my clothes?  I will NOT take off my socks……”


Mr. H.: Can I keep the robe on for the massage?


Mr. H.:  “It’s going to get too hot in here with that fire.”


And then….a miracle.

After 50 minutes of a most wonderful, soothing, relaxing massage…..

…..Mr. H. became a believer.  (Meet Cindy and Beth, our wonderful massage therapists).

What have I done?

Here is our budget before this event:

and here is our new, revised budget:


Category: Cast of Characters, Mr. H
Tags: , ,

(2) Comments

  1. Amy | February 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm | Reply

    Yay, Jimmy, so glad your wife helped you see the light! Should we all go in on a spa present for your birthday?

  2. Janey Samson | February 7, 2012 at 11:28 am | Reply

    A massage sounds so good right about now. My back is killing me. Nice post, pleasant read.

Leave a Reply