Pull up a nice comfy chair and settle in.
Mr. H. and I recently took a cruise to Alaska and I have about 4,000 slides I’d love to share with you.
Wait, wait…come back!! I was just kidding!!
I promise, you won’t have to see all our pictures! (Give me a call if you want the full 4,000. I’ll supply the popcorn).
While you recover from the thought of viewing several hundred slides reflecting glaciers in every possible light, let me explain why you haven’t heard from me for a while.
Mr. H. and I have been on cruises before (more than a decade ago), and we really enjoyed them; however, I never planned on going on another cruise.
I dreaded being in a crowd of tourists on planned excursions…
I had no interest in shipboard bingo…
… and, I was rather creeped out by the thought of someone folding my lingerie into animals with cold…dead…eyes (in fairness, they used towels).
So, why were we on a cruise?
Well, Mr. H. turned 70 this year, and this was a trip he had wanted for quite some time.
Could you deny this face?
Once I got over the idea of excursions, bingo and crazy lingerie, I figured it would be smooth sailing ……
…but there were signs….
…signs that things might be a little …. uncomfortable.
Strange sightings of the Master of Suspense made us apprehensive (this was especially concerning since Alfred Hitchcock died 35 years ago).
The Captain informed us that we would have a change in schedule due to some rough weather.
Twenty foot swells and lots of rain.
I was beginning to think a new John Deere might have been a better birthday gift.
But then, just as I was eyeing the life boats for a quick getaway, I thought I heard a voice.
The distinctive voice of Sir Alfred Hitchcock….
“Cue the rainbow”
“Cue the sunbeams”
“Cue the salmon bake”
“Cue the bear” (cleaning up after the Salmon Bake)
“Cue glorious nature scenes”
and … “Cue postcard worthy sites”.
As promised, I’ve only shared about 1% of my pictures, and that seems just about right.
As Alfred Hitchcock once said, “Drama is life with the dull bits cut out”. I suspect he also meant vacation pictures.
And so, inspired by our new friend Alfred, next year we are taking another cruise.
To a place that served as a setting for Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘To Catch a Thief’.
Have I gone back on my pledge to never cruise again? In a word … yes.
But to quote Sir Alfred, “I’m a writer and, therefore, automatically a suspicious character.”